I'll sleep when I'm Dead...

I'll sleep when I'm dead... my credo... my motto... my downfall

Monday, July 26, 2010

Little Johnny's big story

Little Johnny (this little shit's in every story it seems) was at the playground with his new baby sitter. He looked over his shoulder and saw his Daddy's station wagon pull into the parking lot across the street. Curious, he snuck out of the playground and ran over to where his Daddy's car was now pulling into the access road next to the woods where the creepy men pay homeless guys to spit shine their zippers (at least that's what he had heard his Daddy tell his uncle Bill). He followed the station wagon into the woods where he say his Aunt Jane get out of the car too! Little Johnny watched his Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace. After a few minutes, Little Johnny was so excited that he ran straight home to tell his Mommy what he had seen.

"Mommy, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, and then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane...'

At this point Little Johnny's Mommy cut him off and said, 'Johnny, this is such an interesting story, let's save the rest until Daddy gets home and we are eating supper. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell him all about it tonight..'

At the dinner table that evening, Mommy asked Little Johnny to tell his story. Little Johnny started his story, "Ok, here's what I was telling Mommy earlier. Today I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and Daddy was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off. Then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mommy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was at work and they thought I was outside playing in the sandbox…"

Just then Mommy fainted and Daddy started choking on his meatloaf.

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