I'll sleep when I'm Dead...

I'll sleep when I'm dead... my credo... my motto... my downfall

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Our version of the "Flash Mob", the "Flashing Mob"

After having a little one-on-one with @OMGnakie tonight in regards to a stunt I’ve wanted to pull off for about 10 years, I think now is the time to make this happen.

Among my friends, there has been a long standing joke about how we want to hire a few strippers willing to do a public striptease in an inopportune place at an inopportune time.

Here is what I am proposing: 3-5 experienced and willing strippers (age, race, hair color non-specific), ready to strip down to the barest of legal attire (ie. bikini bottoms and duct tape ala Maya Von Doll), one portable radio with a copy of Motley Crue’s “Girls Girls Girls” (I know this is beyond cheesey, but that’s kind of the point), a covert camera operator to catch it on film, a spotter (ready to press play on the stereo), a getaway vehicle with a skilled wheel man and a location sure to bring about chaos and mayhem.

I should also point out that being arrested is a total possibility if the proper precautions and necessary escape routes aren’t in place. Being privy to Base jumping in Cincy, Ohio an escape plan is doable and executable. Avoiding arrest shouldn’t be hard if properly planned ahead of time taking into consideration the allotted time for police to arrive and an escape vehicle waiting, out of sight, but in the wings.

As far as a proper (improper) place for this “Flashing Dance”, we’ve considered everything from Best Buy the day after Christmas to The Creation Museum in Northern Kentucky. A few other possibilities are Bob Evans on a Sunday morning at 10:00am, Labor Day sale at Bed Bath & Beyond and in line the night of the sneak peak for “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2”.

The key to making this work is the crowd and speed. Getting the stripping going and done before the song ends and the cops arrive is monumental.

I am completely willing to help fund the first “Flash Dance” as long as GetOffended.com gets credit when the video goes viral. And believe me, it fucking will.

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