Look, Dad, it's a Homo!

The following will explain what it's like growing up in rural Ohio, millions of miles away from the real world. Leaving the local Sports Bar on a Saturday night and a young black dude with an afro and oversized clothes casually crosses the street in front of me. This is the conversation between that ensued.

Son, 9: "Look, Dad, it's a Homo!"

Wife: "What did you say?!"

Me: "That's not something we say! Where did you hear that?"

Son: "I thought that was what they were called? Don't you call them that?"

Wife: "We most certainly do not! Many of my friends are gay and I would never refer to them as Homo's."

Son: "Wait… what's a Homo?"

Me: "It's a derogatory term for a homosexual."

Son: "Oh, no, wait… I meant a Hobo. There was a Hobo, right?"

Wife: [confused] "What the hell are you talking about?"

Son: "A Hobo, isn't that what you call them when someone lives in the street?"

Me: "No, those are just homeless people."

Son: "Homeless? Oh, ok."

A few minutes later…
Son: "I get it now! That guy was homeless and Grandma and Grandpa were Hobos, right?"

Wife: "He's all yours. I give up."

Me: "That guy was just a young guy with baggy clothes. Probably not homeless..."

Son: [interrupting] "He sure looked homeless…"

Me: "He probably wasn't. A Homo is a word we don't use and a Hobo is someone who used to migrate around the US, jumping train cars and looking for work during the Great Depression. Your grandparents were NOT Hobos. Make sense?"

Son: "Yeah, thanks. I think I got it."

About 10 minutes pass…
Son: "I know! Grandma and Grandpa were HIPPIES!"

Wife: [shaking her head] "Yes, I think you finally have it."

Son: "So that guy wasn't a Hobo, or homeless, he was just a Hippie. I understand."

Wife and I look at each other in outright confusion…
Me: "Why do you think he was a Hippie?"

Son: "Because he had an afro."

Welcome to rural Ohio folks.