I think this needs to be on a t-shirt...

Keep an eye on GetOffended.com, I think there'll be a shirt on there soon with the following line from a police report filed in West Virginia. Apparently, a couple of weeks ago in Jackson County, West Virginia, a lovely woman named Melissa Lee Williams had had-it-up-to-here with her love life and decided to go down four doors at the 177 Motor Inn to where her estranged husband was living (four doors down.... really? Is that even estranged?) and demand that he (or his cohort) perform oral sex on her. Right there. Oh, she also had a knife. Forgot to mention that part... The police report that was filed actually has the following line:

Melissa Williams then produced the said knife and pointed it towards Danny Williams and stated '...somebodyis going to eat my pussy or I'm going to cut your fucking throat...'"

The funniest part about the whole situation is that one of the guys, James Adam Watson (not her husband mind you) actually agreed to go down on this trailer park beauty queen.... but as the police report states:

As Watson approached Melissa Williams, he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor emitting from Melissa Williams. Watson then declined to proceed any further because of the strong vaginal odor and ceased his involvement with her.

No wonder her husband had moved half way around the world... or at least four doors down. I'll bet any amount of money his new apartment was at least up wind. source - TheSmokingGun.com

It's a Black Ops world....

Ok, so it's November 9th... why am I wasting a few minutes typing here instead of pounding Diet Mountain Dew, calling in Care Packages and spending pointless hours building a one-of-a-kind-OCD-oh-my-God-he-has-WAY-too-much-time-on-his-hands Players Card tattoo? Because my thumbs are going to fall off and the PS3 in the office is about to melt through the entertainment center. Just a head's up to all of our loyal customers, if you have shirts on the way... it may be a couple days late... We need to make sure we all reach at least level 30 before we get back to any kind of work here at GetOffended.com... joking of course.

All joking aside, if you see "[.com]getoffended" on Black Ops in the middle of the night, just show your support and bend over in front of us... we need the headshots. Free stickers to anyone who sends us a message with their address and let's us take a few potshots at em in Free For All. Kristy sucks and she needs all the help she can get behind the Dual Shock.

Back to Mercenary Death Match...